Lady of the Flame
by Lady Kendra
Summary: Before Zuko and Azula were born, Ozai and Ursa were betrothed. This is the tale that brings us from their engagement to Ursa's strange dissappearance.
1. Betrothed

AN: This is an Ursa 'Point of View', from her days of when she was the age Zuko is now, up until her disappearance. It's my guess of her life, and is canon to the series. Somewhat. This is also a pseudo-mini-prequel to an upcoming fic of mine called the Gains of Enmity. Enjoy!

Lady of the Flame

ON MY SIXTEENTH birthday, as was customary in our great nation, I became of marriageable age. To most girls, this is a very important and life changing birthday in our young lives, and it was no different for me.

My father was the eldest son of a very distinguished family in the Fire Nation, and my mother was the only daughter of another very distinguished family. Their families united both their lavish wealth and good names with my parents' union.

My elder brother became my parents' pride and heir to their vast empire of wealth and influence within the Fire Nation. In addition, I was a source of something in the nature of pride. But I was also a useful tool in uplifting the family status.

My father had relations with the royal family of the Fire Nation; Fire Lord Azulon in particular. After many months of debate, he and Fire Lord Azulon had come to an agreement: I was to be wed to the second son of Azulon.

His name was Ozai, and although I had never spoken with him, I had seen him at many social parties and gatherings. His reputation of being a skilled Firebender preceded him as well. He was handsome, ambitious, and loyal to the Fire Nation.

Despite these admired qualities, I felt scared, powerless, and depressed. I confided these feelings with my mother, and she confirmed them to be her own when she was to be wed to my father. She assured me that over the years, she and father had become good friends, passionate lovers, and very happy with one another. I could only hope that this would ring true with Ozai.

His elder brother Iroh, heir to the throne, was someone who I had spoken with before. I had been exploring the royal courtyard about a year before the announcement of my betrothal to young Prince Ozai, and I had unknowingly dropped my folding fan.

Prince Iroh, who had been in the courtyard enjoying tea, noticed this and returned my fan to me. He made a rather flattering comment, saying something along the lines of 'A pretty fan should not be without its pretty owner.'

I had blushed like a young school girl, of course, and I still was. I had been held with honors at the Royal Fire Academy for Girls, being skilled in weaponry and martial arts. I preferred simpler things in life though, and did not feel all too proud of my accomplishments.

I thanked the handsome young Prince, and blinked with surprise as a young boy ran to his side. "Daddy…" he hid behind his father, shy of my presence.

"Greet the beautiful young lady, Lu Ten." Prince Iroh urged his son gently.

Lu Ten nodded, and stepped before me, bowing slightly. "Hello, pretty lady, I am Prince Lu Ten, son of Prince Iroh, grandson of Fire Lord Azulon. How do you do?"

I covered my smile with a hand, and curtsied slightly. "It is a pleasure to meet your acquaintance, young Prince Lu Ten; I am Lady Ursa of the Tomi family."

Iroh smiled, taking his young son's hand. "It's a pleasure, Lady Ursa. We must be going now, but do have a lovely day."

Lu Ten waved goodbye and departed with his father.

From this experience, I found Prince Iroh to be a very kind man, and his son Lu Ten to be as well. Both would make wonderful Fire Lords, once their times came. I had not known I would see them again only a year later, as future in-laws.

My first official meeting with Prince Ozai had been a formal dinner at the palace between our two families. I was extremely nervous the day of the dinner. I chose a brilliant red kimono made of silk just for the occasion. It had golden flames dancing at the hem and on the right breast, and my obi was also woven of gold. My maid expertly applied demue makeup for me and wove my hair into an orante style that was both flattering and impressive.

My mother and father both assured me that I looked beautiful, but when I was seated at the dinner table across from Ozai, my confidence collapsed.

He studied me intently throughout the meal and once he came to some sort of conclusion, he nodded and folded his hands in his lap.

The dinner was agonizingly long, but I was grateful for Prince Iroh's presence, as he would tell jokes to make me demurely laugh. My elder brother and his fiancée would also laugh from time to time.

After dinner, Fire Lord Azulon and my father left to work out for detailed arraignments, Fire Lady Ilah and my mother spoke softly amongst one another. Prince Iroh left to tuck his precious son into bed. And Prince Ozai and I were expected to talk.

He gestured to me, and I followed him. He walked me throughout the palace, giving me the well-rehearsed histories of each room, the family, and such. I nodded and made noises of affirmation to signal I had heard and understood him.

It was rather awkward, and I didn't know what to say to my future husband.

He broke the silence. "I have heard of your fighting prowess, perhaps you'd be amiable to a friendly spar next time you visit?"

I nodded. "Of course, Prince Ozai."

He stopped in his walking and turned to me. He studied me intently, then reached a hand out to touch my cheek. His fingers tilted my chin to look up into his face, for I was too timid at first. "You are very lovely." He commented softly.

I blushed and tried to look away, but I could not. "T-thank you, Prince Ozai."

"Just Ozai. When it is only us, Ozai will be fine." He replied mildly.

"Ozai." I repeated softly, correcting myself.

He smiled slightly, and nodded, continuing his walk. We stopped in the courtyard that I had been in a year ago with Iroh and Lu Ten. Ozai and I sat beneath the tree beside the pond. Turtle-ducks swam in the moonlight, quacking ever so often at each other.

I rather enjoyed this spot, and I guess I was smiling. "You're even lovelier when you smile. Do you truly fear me so?" he inquired, almost sadly.

I looked down, clasping my hands together. "I've been taught familiarity is disrespect, Pr-ah…Ozai."

He nodded, understanding a mere noble girl's teachings and point of view. "Well, we are to be married. Can we not be familiar?"

I smiled softly. "Tell me about yourself." I was feeling emboldened by his gentle question.

He looked almost thoughtful for a moment. "I love to Firebend. When I am doing so…my heart flies, my blood sings."

"You are true to the blood of a Prince." I commented.

He nodded. "Perhaps so!"

I smiled again, and ran my fingers through the plush grass. "What else?"

He chuckled softly. "I am very interested in politics, my nation, this war."

I felt worried very suddenly. "Will you go and fight in this war?"

He frowned. "I would like to, however, I cannot. My elder brother is currently a general…both of us cannot fight at once…you understand…"

"I do." And I was inwardly relieved. I did not desire to be a young widow.

"I have to exercise patience, for now." He did not look pleased at this, and a saw a glimpse at something that gave me a chill. He turned to look at me. "Are you cold?" he asked.

There would be no other explanation for my shudder, so I nodded slightly.

And to my embarrassment, he moved closer, wrapping an arm around me. The silk of his kimono slipped against mine and we were pressed tightly together. I could feel the heat of his body so close to mine, and wondered momentarily if Firebenders were prone to being…well, hotter.

I blushed and he chuckled upon seeing this. "You really are something, Lady Ursa." He remarked kindly.

"Ozai…" I murmured, looking up into his golden eyes. They were hot and cold, ambitious and serene, good and somehow bad, all at the same time. I feared him and yet was intrigued by him at the same time.

He leaned his face close to mine, and our lips met. His were warm against my own, and covered mine fully. I shivered again, and he pulled me closer, deepening the once chaste kiss. And he lit my body aflame, it felt like.

He drew away, studying my face, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen from its ornate design. "I should like to think this marriage will be a pleasant one." He said finally, his handsome eyes piercing through me.

And somehow, I had a feeling that it would be too…


	2. Kimono

AN: Yes, Ozai is a very kind man in his youth, as I suspected he would be before greed and ambition has taken him over. And I believe Ursa would be a demure, obedient young lady before she gains self confidence as a mother and Fire Lady. Keep in mind he is around 17/18 and she is 16 at the time of this tale.

Lady of the Flame

AS A CHILD my mother, probably suspecting my union to royalty, always drove me to be obedient, thrifty, wise, and dutiful; amongst many things. So, once Ozai began summoning me frequently, she urged me to go to him every time. She explained that I would be recognized as a dutiful wife, even before my duties began, and thus would be greatly desired by Ozai.

It was raining one particular day I had been summoned, and couldn't help but become doused in my travels to the palace. Ozai, having anticipated my arrival, looked dismayed to see my kimono soaked, my elegant up do ruined, and my makeup smeared.

I bowed slightly to him. "I apologize for my appearance, Prince Ozai, but I-"

He raised a hand to hush me, and I silenced myself immediately. "Come with me." He beckoned, and I followed.

He led me to an ornate door and entered it quickly. I followed tentatively into the darkened room, and he closed the door. It was pitch black, and the room carried an almost musty smell to it.

Ozai Firebended to light the candles about the room, and once my eyes adjusted to the light, I could see that this was an abandoned bedroom of a royal. A portrait hung in the room and I recognized the woman immediately. It was Fire Lady Ilah, Prince Ozai's deceased mother.

I felt nervous suddenly, to be in the room of his honorable mother. Ozai went to the vast wardrobe in the room and opened it, revealing countless silk kimono and obi in rich and lush colors. I hesitantly joined his side, and he turned to me. "Pick one." He suggested gently.

The kimono were all so beautiful, and so ornately spun and decorated. "Oh, I couldn't…Ozai, this…it's your mother's…" I murmured, blushing.

He took my chin in his fingers, tilting my face up to peer in it. "Ursa," he began gently, oh how my knees quivered when he said my name, "You are soaking wet. I will not allow you to catch a cold, nor will I allow you to dress as a peasant." He explained softly. There was something soft and kind in his eyes as he regarded me, and I felt weak.

"But, your honorable mother…" I protested.

"Would be happy to see her future daughter in law putting her beautiful kimono to use." He answered.

I nodded meekly and turned to the wardrobe. My eyes settled on a violet kimono that depicted flowers and a stream along the hemline, and I chose a bright yellow obi to match.

I jumped in surprise when his fingers began to untie my obi, then relaxed. My eyes closed shut and I inwardly murmured my mother's mantra: A good wife obeys, a good wife obeys…

His voice was husky, his breath tickling my ear. "Don't fret, Lady Ursa. I will not dishonor you." He reassured me.

I nodded and my kimono fell in a puddle about my feet, only my underclothes remaining. He walked to a chest with several drawers, and pulled out underclothes for me to wear. He placed them in my hands and turned away to give me the privacy I desperately desired, then turned back when my rustling clothing became silent.

He tenderly helped me into my new kimono. I shivered when his finger brushed over my neck as he adjusted my collar and I waited patiently as he tied my obi behind my back. "There. You're beautiful." He said softly.

I reached a hand up to my face gingerly. "But…I haven't put on any makeup."

He walked me over to his mother's vanity, seating me down in a chair. I saw my reflection in the mirror, and wondered how on earth Ozai could think me beautiful. I searched the vanity and came upon cosmetic wipes, they were old, but still usable, and I removed my excess makeup.

I also located a brush and ran it through my damp hair to smooth it. I tied it neatly into a bun at the nape of my neck, but Ozai's hand stilled my own. "Leave it unbound." He urged me.

I blinked and felt suddenly very plain. A true lady wore powder on her face and tied her hair from her face elegantly. He saw my confused expression, and rested his hands on my shoulders. "Lady Ursa, you're beautiful no matter what you look like." He murmured. He pushed my hair aside from my neck and gently kissed it, giving me shivers.

"Ozai…" I breathed his name, and his hands caressed my own. I turned to face him and he kissed me gently. I moaned under his mouth and his hands gently massaged the nape of my neck.

Something told me in the back of my hand that Ozai would be attentive and gentle on our wedding night. Maybe he was thinking along the same lines, because when we parted from our kiss, he smiled and said he'd quite enjoy our marriage.

"What do you mean?" I questioned, not sure if I was understanding him correctly.

"Well, it seems you'll be beautiful no matter what state you're in. I'll be able to look at you in the morning, see you when you're ill, and even when you are heavy with my child, and still smile to see you and know you are my wife."

I blushed and he kissed me once more, pulling me to his muscular, broad body. I felt so safe and cherished at that moment I didn't feel quite so scared of him or the impending nuptial.

IT WAS ALMOST ironic that he mentioned that I'd be lovely even if I had fallen ill, because the very next day, I had a cold. It was almost as if Ozai's efforts to keep me well had failed. I was bedridden with a fever, tended to by one of our maids.

Ozai sent for me, as usual, and my mother had to send back a reply stating that I was ill and unable to go to the palace. Not an hour had passed before there was a guest at our estate: Prince Ozai himself! And he had brought one of the royal family's doctors with him.

He apologized to my parents for arriving unexpectedly and swiftly went to my bedchambers. I had been dozing on and off, but awoke when he entered. He kneeled by my bedside and I blushed. "Ozai…"

He looked very worry. "Lady Ursa, you've caught cold…are you alright?"

I nodded weakly. "You shouldn't have come; you'll get ill too…"

He shook his head. "I couldn't leave you alone."

I felt so sick and so happy that Ozai had come to my side that I began to cry. This only served to worry him more and he pulled me into an embrace. "Ursa, please don't cry. I've brought you a doctor, he'll assist you…" anxiety was wrought into his voice.

"It's not that, I'm just glad to see you." I replied, but the doctor entered the room and examined me anyway. He prescribed an herb that acted as a fever reducer and instructed the maids to grind it and mix it into my tea.

They did so and the doctor left. I thanked him for his services and Ozai and I were left alone. I was so surprised that he had done this for me, and I said so.

"Why are you so surprised?" he questioned, looking almost…hurt.

"I don't know…it was unexpected, I suppose." I replied.

He still looked hurt and took my hands into his own. "Don't you know why I summon you nearly every day? Why I adorned you in my honorable mother's clothes? Why I came here today?"

I blushed, and wasn't sure if he expected me to reply. But I did not get the chance to do so, as he continued speaking. "I have come to care for you…and I could only hope that so feel the same towards me…" he trailed off sadly, as if he suspected that I did not feel the same.

I blushed and struggled to sit up, but felt so weak from my fever. "Ozai…how could I not care for you? When you treat me so tenderly, lavish me with your attentions? Of course I have harbored emotions for you…I long to be your doting wife…"

He helped me to lie down and he kissed me. "Ursa…" he smoothed my hair from my forehead and looked at me so lovingly that I felt even weaker and dizzy.

I kissed him boldly, pulling him into bed with me. He opened his mouth to speak, but I silenced him. "Lay with me, until I sleep?" I don't know where this boldness had come from, but he seemed to like it, since he chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"Of course, Princess."

And he held me as I became drowsy. The maids arrived during this time, setting my medicinal tea on the bedside table. He held it for me as I took meager sips, for my stomach was wrought with nausea. I rested my head on his strong chest, and I heard his heart beat, slow and strong. It lulled me to sleep, as did his hands stroking my hair. He smelled of sweet smoke…and sandalwood…

When I awoke the next morning, he was gone. And I felt such a longing to have him near; I knew that I could never sleep alone again without yearning to have him hold me tight.


	3. Zuko

AN: Ursa and Ozai…happily ever after? Or not? I took a combination of Asian culture's wedding ceremonies and added them together, also throwing in a bit of my own twist. Since none of us really know how any of the Four Nations celebrate weddings in Avatar-world.

Lady of the Flame

I HADN'T EXPECTED my wedding day to be a happy occasion as a child. My mother had warned me from the very beginning that I would be locked into an arraigned marriage and that I might not necessarily like my future husband.

This however, was not the case with Ozai and I. The six month engagement we had gave us enough time to learn about one another and come to love one another. Thus, my wedding day was a very exciting and happy day for me.

My kimono was extravagant in a blood red hue with the crest of the Fire Nation in black on my breast. My obi was silver and ornately patterned, and my jewels were red rubies.

To begin the ceremony, Ozai's family guided him to the altar and they all shared a cup of sake, to unify their family. Then my family guided me to the altar, and we all shared sake as well. The priest blessed our two families, then went to speak about marriage. He explained to Ozai and I that we were not two separate people now, but one person. We had to help one another through our trials and tribulations and never turn our back on one another, for if we did, we'd turn our back on ourselves and our honorable ancestors.

I then was to renounce my family tearfully and share a cup of sake with Ozai. This was meant to symbolize our lives that we were to share together. We were also given a cup of herbal tea to share, to increase our fertility. It was quite embarrassing really, to be expected to have children at our young age, but it was tradition. Ozai and I were declared married, and the ceremony was over.

Afterwards a reception was held to celebrate the union, and Ozai and I were the center of attention. We endured many jokes and teasing about our wedding night, and I was urged by many a woman to bear Ozai many sons. It was quite ridiculous, and almost outdated, actually, since the Fire Nation was not a sexist country quite so much anymore. The Water Tribes still held that title.

The entire ceremony and reception, Ozai would look at me lovingly and longingly, and it built anticipation for that evening, when we could be alone together, away from prying eyes. I felt very glad that the spirits had been so kind as to give me this wonderful man. Ozai would probably have argued my sentiments, claiming that he was the lucky one to have a wife as beautiful as I.

Finally, evening came, and my family bid me farewell, since I was no longer their daughter. Which was another absurd tradition, since daughters often went back home to visit their natal families, long after they had married out. My brother's wife did so quite frequently.

Ozai and I walked to his bedchambers slowly, for we had both learned patience to remain chaste during our six month engagement. "Ursa?" he questioned me once we reached his…our bedroom.

"Yes, my love?" I replied, gazing into his handsome eyes.

"Are you happy?" Ozai asked me gently.

I nodded enthusiastically. "Are you?" I retorted.

He nodded and took my hands in his own. "I hope we remain this happy forever." He murmured to me, kissing me gently.

I nodded in agreement, and he led me into my new bedroom. Since we had come to know one another so well in the past six months, our first time making love was not as scary or awkward as I expected it to be. My mother gave me only a few bits of advice that carried me through that night, and some of it was irrelevant to the situation Ozai and I were in: actually loving one another prior to the actually ceremony.

But, nevertheless, Ozai was a considerate and patient lover, and I enjoyed myself quite thoroughly. He also enjoyed himself, and commented how he was looking forward to learning even more about me as the years went by.

LIFE SETTLED DOWN after the long awaited ceremony, and I became accustomed to my new home in the palace. All of my belongings had been moved into my new bedroom, and I took on the new project of arraigning and decorating my new chambers with glee.

I was also given a sunroom to have my 'alone time' in. it was to be a room of relaxation and meditation, a room of reflection even. I also decorated this room to my liking. Once all of my decorating was over, Ozai and I settled down into a routine of morning tea with Iroh and Lu Ten.

This was a very pleasant part of the day, for I had come to adore Lu Ten. He made me long for a son of my own. And Prince Iroh was a pleasure to converse with. He always had a story or anecdote to make me smile.

Sometimes Ozai became a little jealous of Iroh. I wasn't certain if it was because Iroh made me laugh so much, or if it was because of other issues. Ozai was very ambitious, always striving to become a better Firebender than his brother Iroh. He also wanted to be more educated, smarter, creative, and anything else he could best him at. This didn't concern me too much, and I chalked it up to sibling rivalry, although Iroh seemed to have no interest in being better than Ozai. He just was.

Ozai sometimes spoke of becoming heir to the throne, but he usually meant it as a joke. One time he said he'd tie Iroh up, put a sock in his mouth, and hide him in the closet so everyone would think he deserted the throne. I laughed at this, calling him silly, and he laughed with me.

After morning tea, Ozai would leave me to go study and train. This took up much of the morning, while I concerned myself with knitting clothing for my unborn son. This was a tradition of newlywed wives. Even if we were not with child, we were supposed to prepare for them. This was to show the spirits of the sun and of fire that we desired greatly to become mothers and were ready for the task.

Sometimes I would embroider things, write letters to my family, or read. I enjoyed many sorts of novels and poetry, and sometimes Iroh would join me to read poetry. For a first born son of the Fire Nation, he seemed to be a very down to earth man. I found myself respecting him for not letting a position of power get to his head. He chose simple pleasures to balance out the severity in his life.

I would meet with Iroh, Lu Ten, and Ozai for lunch most days, and we would have quiet discussions on whatever interested us. Ozai would leave again to go train and study, and I would return to my morning hobbies or go to visit my family.

We would all meet for dinner usually, and all retire to bed. Some nights Ozai would merely hold me and fall asleep like a newborn babe. Other nights he would touch me in such a way that I couldn't resist him. I would burn with such a hunger for him…it was unbearable until he would satiate me with his body.

I truly enjoyed these happy days with my husband and his family. And I did so for nearly a year, until I began to feel very ill. I told Ozai immediately, and he was very concerned. He called for the doctor, who promptly attended to me. He searched for everything that could be wrong, but found nothing. Finally, he eyes me suspiciously and asked me when my last blood week had been.

Ever since I had married Ozai, I had paid my blood week little attention except when it caused me discomfort. And I was young still, only 16 when I had gotten married, so my blood week was irregular. I told the doctor this, and once he took this information I had given him, he decided that I must be with child.

When he informed me of this, Ozai was present, and his face lit up with unfettered joy. He bade the doctor thanks and embraced me tightly. "Ursa, this makes me so filled with joy!" he exclaimed, pressing kisses over my face.

I smiled, happy to see Ozai so happy. On the inside, I was scared. He noted my fear, and asked me of it.

"I just am concerned about my abilities as a mother." I answered truthfully.

"You'll do well. Look how talented you are as a wife." He responded, pulling me into another embrace.

"What if…I do not survive." I choked out.

He became serious, touching my face tenderly. "Ursa, come now, you're much too strong for that. You'll survive this birthing, and hopefully many others after."

I felt reassured by my husband's answer. That evening he held me gently, as if afraid to hurt the tiny life growing in my stomach. I slept peacefully, knowing that I would be a good mother. Ozai usually was right about his notions.

THE NEXT MORNING I felt the palace after breakfast to go home and inform my family. They were elated, of course, and proceeded to gorge me with food, claiming I'd need my strength. I tried to protest, since I still had morning sickness, but they did not heed my requests.

I headed home soon after, claiming to feel tired, and went to my sunroom instead. I picked up the baby clothes I had so meticulously made, and smiled softly. The mere thought of a precious child growing within me was overwhelming. I felt so much love for it already, and tried to convince my belly to grow large right this moment.

I began to daydream of what my child would be. Boy or girl? Bender or no bender? Whom would it take after? What names would be appropriate?

I imagined what it would become. A scholar? A warrior? A bending master? Or a husband or wife? A father or mother? That was fine. It could become whatever it wanted, as long as it was happy.

I touched my stomach tenderly. Grow quickly, baby. Be born, be well, and be strong. I love you.

THE NEXT FEW months passed quickly, and my belly grew large. Ozai would smile whenever he saw it revealed and would sometimes talk to it. He too, had dreams and aspirations for our unborn child. He wanted it to be a boy, a Firebender, and an admiral in the Fire Nation army. He didn't seem to think about what our unborn child wanted, but again, Ozai sometimes forgot about the will of others. With some gentle reminding from me, he begrudgingly admitted I was right.

The day soon came when my water broke, and after many hours of agonizing pain, I brought forth a healthy son into this world. Ozai held the child lovingly, and we agreed to name him Zuko.

That was the second happiest day of my life.


	4. Anger

AN: Zuko's here, horray!

Lady of the Flame 

IN THE QUIET of the evening, I rocked my newborn son to sleep in my arms. He looked up at me sleepily, his beautiful golden eyes reflecting adoration towards me. He had just finished his feeding, and sighed contently. My son…

I couldn't help but smile. My baby…my precious…my Zuko…my everything. I kissed him tenderly, my heart swelling with love.

The day he had been born, my life changed. I had changed. But it was for the better. I was better. The knowledge that someone else was depending on me, that someone else needed me…it made me responsible, it made me strong. I was empowered to speak my mind, to do as I wished, to do everything that was necessary for the well being of my child.

I firmly told Ozai I did not want a wet nurse. I firmly told him I wanted no nannies. I firmly told him I was going to be a good mother. He had balked at first, but seeing my resignation of the matter, he relented.

Good, he should know that I was a mother first and a wife second now. I knew Ozai was slightly jealous over the time I spent with Zuko, knowing that every minute I was here rocking him to sleep could be a minute I was in bed with him, doing far more pleasurable things.

There would be many more nights ahead that I could spend with Ozai, so I was not concerned. Instead, I enjoyed every minute with my beautiful Zuko, knowing my days of cradling him in my arms; the days of him suckling hungrily at my breast, the days of him wanting and needing only me…these days were numbered.

So I cherished them. And I cherished him. This love that I felt was like no other. Not for my mother or father, not for Ozai… this love was different. It could not be taken away, it could not be swayed, it could not be pushed aside.

I watched my wonderful son, and sighed with contentment myself. He was such a wonderful baby, so unfussy, so calm, so happy. He was a joy to have around. I brought him with me everywhere I went; I introduced him to the world before him. I spoke to him cleverly, none of the mindless baby babble.

I smoothed the unruly wisps of hair that had begun to grow atop his head. I wanted him and I to be like this, mother and son, forever. But at the same time, I was eager to see him grow tall, and run free, and thirst for not only food, but knowledge as well. I wanted him to smile, to adventure, to live happily.

And, in a bittersweet fashion, I wanted him to be handsome. To be a good husband, to have a lovely wife. To love her, and cherish her unconditionally. I wanted to him to be a wonderful father. Only once he held his own newborn son or daughter in his arms and rocked them to sleep…only then would he understand how much I loved him.

He was asleep, snoring in a gentle baby fashion. I gently rose and placed him in his cradle. He whimpered at the loss of my warmth, but snuggled into the covers. Sleep, my son. Dream wonderful dreams. Know nothing but happiness. At least for this time, this moment.

I secretly wished that no one would ever hurt him, that he'd never have to cry. To know pain and loss…I fervently hoped he never would. As a mother, I wanted to protect him from all of that.

But I could not. He'd be burned by fire, be pricked by swords, have men fall at his feet, slain by his own hand. He was born into a war, one that would age him quickly. And if Ozai's intentions for my Zuko came through, he'd become a talented, skilled warrior.

I frowned and snuffed out the few candles burning in my son's room. That may be so…but for now…he could be my baby. And only that. Nothing else.

I walked to my bedroom door, entering quietly, not wanting to disturb Ozai if he were asleep. But he wasn't, a candle burned brightly near our bed, and he sat, waiting for me.

"Ursa…" he husked gently, beckoning me to him.

I sat beside him, studying his chiseled features. Would Zuko grow to be as handsome as his father? I hoped so. "Yes, my love?" I responded, bringing a hand up to run my fingers through his unbound hair.

He grasped me gently, pinning me beneath him. His mouth found my neck, kissing and nuzzling it hungrily. "You've been cheating on me." He breathed into my ear.

I blinked. "What?"

He chuckled softly, his hands untying my sash to my robe deftly. "Little Zuko gets to be held by you…kissed my you…gets a taste of you…and I don't?" his hands roamed over my body, and his mouth captured my breast.

I sighed in pleasure…perhaps I had missed my couplings with Ozai more than I had realized. I felt the burning sensation between my thighs, and my hands explored him. "Please…I want you." I moaned.

"As long as you don't forget me entirely." He cautioned.

"Of course not! You're my loving husband!" I chided.

He nodded at my answer, and he obliged.

OVER THE NEXT few months, Zuko grew rapidly and Ozai and I became adjusted to our new found parenthood. We fell into a comfortable schedule, and we were happy. But sometimes when Ozai and I spoke, his eyes were distant. Something else was on his mind, preoccupying him. I didn't know what it was. I didn't ask, and he wouldn't tell me.

Finally, I gained the courage to ask him what was the matter.

"I want to fight. To lead troops. To be…noteworthy." He sighed softly. He looked at the turtle-ducks swimming in the pond, but he did not truly see them. His expression was a mix of sadness and anger.

"But you are noteworthy…" I murmured in his ear, cradling Zuko gently in my arms.

He shivered slightly, and I was glad I still had that arousing effect on him. I had only just started to get my figure back from before I became pregnant with Zuko.

"Being a husband and a father doesn't count." He finally replied, taking Zuko from me.

I felt slightly hurt.

"I mean, it does matter. A whole lot. But it's not the same as being revered. As being the Dragon of the West." He corrected himself quickly, touching my cheek tenderly. He held Zuko close, holding back a smile as Zuko gurgled happily.

"Well…can't Iroh stay here while you're given the chance to prove yourself?" I questioned. As much as I didn't want to lose my husband to war, I could see that this was important to him. If I kept him from his desires, he'd come to resent me.

"I must speak at length with my father about this." He said carefully, tapping Zuko on the nose and returning him into my arms.

"Do what you must." I commented, adjusting Zuko to fit comfortably in my embrace.

Ozai kissed my forehead tenderly. "Thank you. I forget sometimes how much your approval means to me." He held my hand in his and we enjoyed the courtyard with our son.

OZAI WENT TO his father the next day to request a chance to fight. I didn't hear from him and didn't see him for lunch either. I shrugged it off and tended to our son. But as dinner drew near, I couldn't stand it any longer and left Zuko in Iroh's care.

I found my husband in one of the chambers reserved for sparring, Firebending most especially. He seemed fueled by rage and anger, and was ruthless in his training. He was slick with sweat, shaking with rage and exhaustion.

I approached him cautiously. "Ozai…?"

He snarled spinning and blasting fire just to the right of me. I could feel the heat of the flames pass my face. I felt an irrational surge of fear. My husband…I had never feared him before. Not like this.

"He's a pompous fool!" Ozai cried, returning to his kata. I don't think he realized how badly he had shaken me up.

"Your father?" I questioned, finding the strength in me to speak.

"Yes," he snarled, "He hasn't the mind to allow me to become a strong warrior!" another array of neat, graceful attacks.

"Perhaps he thinks you are not ready…" I meekly suggested.

"Of course I am ready! I am a Master Firebender!" Ozai practically screamed. He was trembling with his rage, and I was reminded suddenly of something I had learned while sitting in on one of Ozai's lessons: To master Firebending, one must first master the qualities of such: patience, discipline, control.

But I could not tell my husband this. To do so would be disrespectful. Even now, my mother's mantras were scarred into my memory.

"Then maybe he realizes I am not ready." I remarked.

He forgot his anger, or at least pushed it aside to let curiosity take its place. "What?"

I looked aside, biting my lip. "If you fight in a war and die…I am not sure how my heart could handle such a thing. I love you so…"

He watched me, trying to comprehend what I was telling him.

"Perhaps your father sees that I, as your newlywed wife and mother to your newborn child, need you now more than the Fire Nation needs you." I continued.

Ozai seemed calmed by my thoughtful words, and he approached me. "I am sorry I frightened you."

I looked into his eyes, so handsome and golden, and I could see that anger just behind the concern and love for me. Oh spirits, I thought, what is lurking in my husband's heart?


	5. Truths

A

Lady of the Flame

AFTER OZAI HAD apologized, he left me to retire to bed for the evening. And despite the gentle kiss he had placed upon my brow, I still felt cold. And alarmed. That unchariteristic anger he had displayed didn't seem too forced for him. It had come easily.

My husband has a temper…I realized belatedly. And he has ambitions when it comes to war. And jealousy when it comes to his brother.

All of this wouldn't matter…had he and I been the run of the mill Fire Nation citizens. But we weren't. He was the second Prince of the Fire Nation. And I was his wife, Princess of the Fire Nation. We were hardly textbook when it came to anything regarding our lives.

And so my husband's temper, developing greed, and jealousy caused me concern. I tired to shake it off, but couldn't. it lingered like a sout taste in my mouth, made my heart pound a tad too rapidly.

This was ridiculous. I was nearly afraid of my husband…

This was my husband…the man who made my knees quiver with his sweet kisses, the man who made my blood run thick and hot with desire when he pressed me beneath him…this was the man who was the father of my beautiful son.

I couldn't be afraid of him. And I shouldn't worry so about fleeting emotions and outbursts of his.

It was nothing, I convinced myself. Just a small incident.

I left the training hall to gather my baby into my arms. He cooed at me, a chubby hand reaching out to grasp a lock of my raven hair. I hugged him tightly to me, willing my worries away.

"Zuko, honey, time for bed." I murmured to him.

He gurgled a response and I smiled softly. Nothing was wrong. Everything would be okay, as long as I loved Ozai and Zuko and had them by my side.

IN THE WEEKS and months that passed, Ozai remained calm. No outbursts, no temper, no mentioning of his desires concerning the entire war issue. No questioning his father for requests that would be inevitably denied.

But, I saw it in his golden eyes. Beyond his looks of love and longing for me, beyond the pride of Zuko Firebending every so often, I saw impatience, distraction, and greed. It took me a while to put a label on these emotions, but when I did, it confirmed my realizations the night Ozai had lost his temper.

I tried to rationalize it, to push it aside as I had that first night…but it always lingered in the back of my mind, as Ozai's thoughts lingered in his eyes.

My dear brother in law Iroh noticed.

"Ursa, my dear, what ails you so?" he took Zuko from me, and set him down on the tatami mats of my sunroom. He zipped off quickly, crawling and exploring the exciting world around him. He found his cousin, Lu Ten, to be extremely interesting, and proceeded to tug on his fingers, trying to place them in his mouth.

Lu Ten laughed, picking up his young cousin, making face at him. Lu Ten had come to enjoy Zuko greatly in the past few months, and was always trying to teach him something or show him a trick.

I smiled weakly, watching my young son and nephew interact.

Oh, how big he'd become…he was going to be a year old next week…

"Ursa?" Iroh repeated my name gently, urging me away from my sentiments.

"Oh, Iroh, it's nothing, really." I replied.

He frowned at me, taking my small hand into his two platypus-bear like ones.

I looked down, ashamed to have been caught in such a blatant lie. "It's Ozai." I admitted.

He nodded, making a noise of affirmation. "My brother."

I nodded, taking my hand from his to busy myself with stirring my tea. "He's…his eyes, they're not always looking directly at me…" I murmured, taking a sip of tea. I held back a smile, Iroh's blends of tea were always so delicious.

"Please, explain." Iroh had a slight litlt to his voice, almost as if he already fully understood the implications of my statement.

"He's determined to fight in this war. He wants to be a revered general, admiral, whatever it may be. He's so jealous of you…and such a temper he has when things are not exactly as he wishes…"

Iroh took his own sip of tea, acknowledging all that I had blurted to him. "Yes, Ozai has always desired more than he was destined to have." He storked his beard thoughtfully, looking at me. "Do you know why the royal family usually always has more than one child?" he asked me suddenly.

I blinked. "Well…for insurance….assurance…whatever it may be…" I replied meekly.

Iroh nodded. "Yes, precisely. You have one child, and he or she is the heir. You have a second child, and he or she is the spare. Insurance." He reiterated my thoughts.

"The heir and the spare…" I looked towards Zuko and Lu Ten playing blissfully on the tatami mats. Both of the were heirs, in their own rights.

"Ozai feels shorted. He feels he was not needed, not wanted, and only means to ensure the royal bloodline of the Fire Nation." Iroh informed me.

I looked over to Iroh, having not ever known Ozai's feelings about his birth order or birth right. "I see…"

Iroh continued: "He desperately wants to prove himself useful. He may feel that to fight in this war and carve a name for himself is the only way to do it."

"But he has me. And our Zuko." I protested weakly.

"This burning desire of his has lived longer than your marriage or son has." Iroh explained mildly.

I felt hurt by this, biting my lip. And iroh saw my hurt. He sat beside me, resting a warm hand on my shoulder. I tried to search for words to say. Something, anything, that could counter the fact that Zuko and I weren't enough to make Ozai feel worthy. But I couldn't.

"Ursa, he loves you. But he is young, and has yet to realize what is truly important in life."

Tears bit at my eyes as I nodded. "Yes, I see."

Iroh kissed my forehead unexpectedly, and I blushed. "Ah, there, I haven't lost my touch."

I blinked, wiping at my pitiful tears. "What?"

"I can still make a lovely woman blush." He answered.

And I couldn't help but chuckle. Iroh always had a way of soothing me.

THAT EVENING I slid into my bed, exhausted. The cool silk sheets slipped against my skin in whispers, and I couldn't help but sigh. Ozai was resting in bed already, on his side, his back to me. I assumed he was asleep, but when I snuffed out the candle on my bedside table, he turned unexpectedly and pinned me beneath him.

I felt a heated rush of desire fill me as his mouth skillfully nipped and licked its way down my neck. My body melted against his, and I succumbed to pleasure.

The entire time, I assured myself that Ozai loved me. That he was doing his best to be a good husband and father. that he wasn't perfect, and neither was i. Perhaps if I continually repeated it to myself, it'd be true. And everything would be alright.

When our love making was over, and we curled around one another blissfully, something nudged in the back of my mind. Whether it was my previous mantras, or something else, I couldn't be sure. I choose to disregard it and fell swiftly asleep in the arms of my beloved.

THREE WEEKS LATER I was so unbelievably sick that I knew without a doubt I was carrying my second child. a part of me leaped with joy, to know that Ozai and I had created another life together. I was excited, and hoped that this time it would be a girl who I could dress up and play dolls with.

Oh, how exciting it would be to feel the baby kick inside of me, to see how large my belly would grow again. And this time, I'd already know what to expect, so I could enjoy it even more. Another small, little, beautiful baby ot love and kiss and hold.

The other half of me mourned, because Zuko had only just turned a year of age. I felt like he and I hadn't had enough time together to relished as child and mother. There was so much I had yet to do with him, so much love I had reserved, just for him.

How would he feel about another child coming in and taking away some of my attention? Would he feel abandoned? Unloved? I was concerned, but knew that it was going to be alright. Zuko was very loving and perhaps he'd even be excited about the prospect of a young sibling…

But it was too late to have regrets. I was already pregnant. Zuko would have a little brother or sister in less than nine months, whether he, or I, liked it or not.

I told Ozai, and he was elated. He spun me about the room until I complained of nausea. He gingerly set me down, hugging me tightly. And I sighed in relief. For I felt that he truly loved me and I was a fool to ever doubt him.

He took me to bed, in the middle of the afternoon, gently, sweetly, and lovingly. He storked my flat stomach, pressing kisses over it. he made love to me, whispered my name into my ear.

I loved him so much, and made love to him with all the passion and energy I could muster in my weakened state. When he crested within me, I sobbed. Could anything be more beautiful? Could this happy family we were creating be any more perfect?


	6. Azula

AN: I'm sorry it's been a while. I had writer's block with this particular story. But I'm back and in color! Enjoy. : )

Lady of the Flame

THE IMMENSE PAIN of birth was something I was accustomed to, since I had borne Zuko. But the sheer agony of Azula's birth was something I could barely take. During the ordeal I wondered if I had ever felt a greater pain in my life or if maybe this would take my life. But I stubbornly refused, for I couldn't leave my husband behind, nor my son. I can hardly describe the sweet relief I felt once she was born.

As I held her tiny body in my arms I was overcome with emotion. Here I held my precious daughter whom I hoped would have all the happiness that I did. She squalled incessantly, and Ozai couldn't help but chuckle at her indignation.

He took her from my arms and cradled her to his breast. She calmed immediately. I felt slightly miffed by this, since Zuko had calmed once he was in my arms. Nor did he cry as loudly and hysterically as Azula did. I shrugged off the strange thoughts that had occurred to me, and I pleaded for Ozai to give her back to me.

He cooed several more times at Azula, which touched me, before reluctantly handing her back. She woke immediately in my arms and began screaming. I was already exhausted, and tears stung at my eyes. Was there something wrong with my daughter? Perhaps she was just going to be a colicky baby?

Ozai took her, concerned as well, but she quieted once again. And we both shared a glance of confusion. "I suppose she likes you." I finally managed to say. I was disappointed, but was too tired to do or say much else, or to even look much father into it.

"I suppose so." Ozai answered, unable to keep the smile off of his handsome face as he cradled our daughter. He leaned in to me, kissing me gently. "Rest now, Ursa. You've earned it."

I sighed blissfully, deeply in love with husband, as I sank into sleep.

ZUKO WAS VERY excited about the birth of his new baby sister. He always wanted to hold her, touch her little face, and have her close. I smiled at this, for I knew he'd be a good older brother. I had been worried that Zuko would not take to a new member of the family, but he'd proven to me that I had nothing to worry about.

He was also an exemplary son, for he knew I was tired and weak after giving birth to Azula. Zuko would bring me gifts every day, small tokens such as flowers or a drawing he made for me. He always had something nice to say to me, that I was still very pretty, even though I didn't have the energy to put any make up on or make myself presentable.

Once it became apparent that Azula indeed was a colicky baby, he did his best to help me. Though he was only two, he offered to hold her and rock her and to let me rest. I usually declined, though I thanked him for being so sensitive. It wasn't Zuko's duty to be a mother to his own sister.

But soon enough, Azula's colicky nature began to exhaust me. As I healed from giving birth I strove to tend to her at all times, and refused a nanny, as I had done with Zuko. At times, when I was reeling from exhaustion since Azula had kept me up all night, I felt like crying myself. There were occasions where I had to leave her in someone else's care, for I feared that I'd throttle her.

Ozai noticed my hysteria and depression, something he was unaccustomed to. I had always been a happy and content wife and mother before. He suggested that perhaps I should employ a nanny so I could keep my sanity. I was happy to see that my husband, whom I loved dearly, was so supportive of me. I felt this to be permission to not have to be perfect. I called upon a nanny to be on call every other night and on the days she wasn't on night call.

My life became somewhat easier after that, and I began to devote more time to Zuko once more. Although he'd been a sweet child when I tended to Azula, he seemed to flourish even more now that I gave him my complete attention. I knew then that he'd missed me and my mothering deeply.

As Azula grew, Zuko strove to be a good brother. He'd make her little gifts, give her little sentiments, and try to play with her whenever he got the chance. Azula, seemingly amused by him at first, became disinterested in Zuko's playing. She seemed intent, instead, on her father. This bothered me and upset Zuko, though he never took it out on Azula. He only continued to try to be the best brother he could be.

Azula weaned herself from me while very young, and chose to shadow her father whenever she could. It was almost amusing to see her crawl after him wherever he went. Soon enough, she began to push herself to walk, and would scream incessantly for Ozai the moment she fell. He'd pick her up and take her with him just to get her to cease her crying.

Soon enough, Azula taught herself to walk and continued to follow Ozai everywhere. She became interested in everything Ozai was involved with. He even began to bring her to war councils, and she began babbling in her baby speak about attacking this town or that of the Earth Kingdom.

I disapproved, of course, but Ozai dismissed my concerns. He felt that she was only a baby, and wouldn't retain any of this as she grew older. And besides, Azula was calm and peaceful in her father's presence and seemed to dislike normal childish games and toys.

Then, a pivotal day came where, while Azula was only a toddler, she imitates a Firebending move Ozai did while he was training. Ozai, overjoyed at her actions, took her to the fortuneteller. He inspected Azula thoroughly and prophesized that Azula would be a Master Firebender, her prowess unsurpassed.

I felt disconcerted about all of this, and felt that Ozai was focusing too much on Azula and her accomplishments. I felt he was ignoring Zuko more, now that Azula had shown her prowess at a younger age than Zuko had. It was almost unfortunate that Zuko, a normal child more interested in games than fighting, was ignored because of his sister's abnormal ambitions.

I expressed my concerns to Ozai, but he ignored me. It was becoming routine, almost, that Ozai ignored me when it came to his ambitions of fighting in the war and teaching Azula more Firebending than was appropriate for her young age. Her first words had been 'Fire Lord' for Agni's sake!

To make up for it all, I paid more attention and put more of myself into Zuko. I taught him all of my philosophies; how to appreciate life, personal accomplishments, and about honor. Ozai seemed to neglect him, so I vowed that he'd have all of my love. I became like Ozai in this way, lavishing attention on Zuko as I neglected Azula.

I was disappointed to see that having a daughter was not everything I had thought it would be. Perhaps I had been placing too many expectations upon Azula, and wanted her to be someone she was not. But I knew this wasn't true, since most children didn't have the drive for power and glory that she did.

Most little girls, in fact, would be content to play with dolls, play dress up, and have tea and 'girl time' with their mothers. I fondly recalled such moments with my own mother as a young child. But it was not meant to be with Azula and I, it seemed.

I began to contemplate having another child. Zuko was nearly five, and Azula was going to be three soon enough. If I were to have another child, it would have to be soon as to keep the age gap small.

But as I watched Zuko play with Lu Ten happily, I reconsidered. If I had another child, would they become like Azula? To have another daughter or son be as indifferent to me as Azula was…it would be a great pain to bear.

On the other hand, I could have another daughter or son that would be as beautiful and wonderful as Zuko…that would bring me ultimate joy. Such a debate went on within me for weeks, until I finally came to the conclusion that Zuko would be enough for me and that I should not tempt fate.

I went to an herbalist and began drinking teas that would discourage pregnancy. I didn't tell Ozai, nor did he and I ever discuss having another child. Azula was, it seemed, my second and last child. I both regretted it and was glad.

My relationship with Ozai, unbeknownst to me, had changed when Azula was born. But now, almost three years later, I recognized it for what it was. He seemed to forget me, or just ignore me. His own ambitions kept him form truly seeing me, his own wife.

I was grateful that he did not take a concubine, as was socially acceptable at the time. At least then I knew that I was at least satisfying him intimately. And he still tended to me at night before we slept. But after pleasure passed through both of us, he'd fall asleep immediately, neglecting to hold me in his embrace.

I wondered if maybe I was just less attractive, since was now the mother of two young children. I confessed this to Iroh, who assured me that I was indeed very lovely, and he would have married me himself, had he not met his deceased wife. He made me blush like a young girl when he said that.

Zuko, who had been playing quietly beside us at the time immediately looked up and told me that he would marry me if his father didn't make me happy. I fought a laugh and kissed his forehead, telling him he wouldn't want to marry me. I was old, I told him.

He replied that I couldn't be old since I didn't have wrinkles like Uncle Iroh. Iroh laughed heartily at this, and stood to chase Zuko, playfully commanding him to take it back. Once he caught Zuko and tickled him mercilessly, Zuko apologized.

It was small moments like this that made me happy and content with my life. Iroh, Zuko, and even Lu Ten were shinning stars in my life. Without them, I wasn't sure what I'd do, or where I'd be. They were my pillars of support throughout my difficult times with Ozai and Azula.

Because of this, I decided to draw strength from them and become a more assertive and emotionally strong person. Little did I know it would help me in the future, and also become my downfall.


End file.
